The holiday season is getting into full swing, with Christmas music blaring in each nook and cranny, dazzling lights flickering romantically in neighbors’ windows, and street vendors selling hot cocoa with tons of marshmallows to give you a lovely sugar high. But there’s one event that started off the celebrations, and that was Thanksgiving.
A day for gratitude shared between those one loves most and a day of wonderful food, drinks, and games — but alas, it’s also a day that brought about drama in some families. When a pregnant sister-in-law sent through a list of demands to be followed at Thanksgiving dinner, she didn’t anticipate that she could be uninvited from the celebration.
The story was shared by the host of the party, nicknamed Strange-Whinny-473 on Reddit, as she asked the community of r/AmIthe[Jerk] whether she was in the wrong. Don’t forget to leave your thoughts and opinions on the situation in the comments below, and if you’re craving more AITA stories, here’s one more for the road.
More info: Reddit
The holiday season is one time of year many people look forward to most; however, when different needs clash at the dinner table, it can cause some issues
Image credits: krakenimages (not the actual photo)
Hosting a dinner party is no easy feat. The kitchen becomes that of a Michelin-star restaurant; the dining room, a high-class venue. Timing is of the essence: the bird must come out after the guests have arrived and had a chance to settle down. Anytime before and it’ll start going dry. Wait too long as well and you’ll have a group of hangry guests.
But what happens when you’ve done the prep weeks in advance, the food and entertainment sorted out and awaiting showtime, only for one of your guests to throw a wrench in the works with a list of requests? No, not requests, more like demands. The reason? They’re pregnant. So what do you do? Chuck everything out the window and start over?
This Redditor, nicknamed Strange-Whinny-473, decided that it would be best to keep the original plan, as the guest, who happened to be her sister-in-law (SIL), would not agree to compromise, ultimately leading to her being uninvited. Cue family drama and the age-old question—“Was I the jerk in this?” It’s rarely a simple answer, so let’s have a look at all the details, shall we?
One Redditor asked the AITA community whether she was in the wrong for uninviting her sister-in-law from Thanksgiving after receiving her list of demands
Image credits: Strange-Whinny-473
Because she was pregnant with her first child, the sister-in-law asked for no alcohol and no poultry on the table, and no games, refusing to compromise
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
When we take a step back, it’s hard to not see both sides of the story. Family celebrations are a special tradition that no one would want to miss out on. However, if one knows that they’ll have a difficult time enjoying themselves, as they won’t be able to sit with everyone at the table—the smells of food and drink causing nausea—or be able to join in on the games due to fatigue, it may turn into a very isolating endeavor.
Women are more at risk of depression while they are pregnant and during the months after having a baby. According to VeryWellFamily, these emotional ups and downs are caused by a variety of factors, including fatigue, stress, the physical discomforts of pregnancy, the very normal worries of upcoming life changes, and rapidly shifting hormones, particularly estrogen and progesterone.
Feelings of nausea and sometimes vomiting can be triggered by the slightest hunger pang or even the smell of your neighbor’s cooking. The stress of not knowing when they might feel sick, and the stress of possibly throwing up unprepared or in public, can be intense, explaining why the sister-in-law wanted certain items off the table and for them to be more in tune with her routine.
Image credits: Strange-Whinny-473
It’s difficult to not see both sides of the story; however, one can argue that the Redditor was looking out for the interests of the many, not the few
Image credits: Camylla Battani (not the actual photo)
It would be unjust to not consider the Redditor’s point of view either. She seemed to be trying to embrace and continue the family traditions that have been there since the beginning. Furthermore, one can argue that she was looking out for the interests of the majority, rather than the minority, of guests. Why should all suffer when it’s only one person that can’t partake in all the things that make Thanksgiving special?
When people turn their personal issues into everyone’s issues, things can quickly turn toxic, turning a fun holiday into something closer to a chore. The Redditor offered multiple ways to compromise, whilst also ensuring that all her preparations didn’t go to waste, and said that everyone would get their fair share of Thanksgiving cheer.
It’s unfortunate that this led to members of the family getting excluded; however, as Hella Life states, setting boundaries with a family member doesn’t mean you’re giving up; it means you’ve come to terms with a problematic situation that cannot be resolved.
At the end of the day, you can’t make everybody happy, but you can do your best to ensure that most people reap the benefits. Let us know your thoughts on this story in the comments below. Do you agree or disagree with how the situation was handled?
Enjoy what fellow netizens had to say, and I shall see you all in the next one!
The AITA community wholeheartedly supported the Redditor’s decision, deeming her ‘not the jerk.’ What’s your opinion? Leave it in the comments below!